Life Personal Choices
In life, we have to make personal choices about how we are going to move on from the various stages of our lives as we reach the crossroads. This post serves to encourage my friends and let me have a chance to read back when I grow old.
Singapore is a safe country to live in, but the safety comes with a price, therefore we have high costs of living. We can choose to live within our means, or live simply, spend wisely and get the bang of the buck or we can choose to spend first, worry about it later. For me, I choose the former, as due to my physical disability, I certainly do not wish to burden my parents or brother as I grow old and frail. If I were to get married, I certainly do not want my spouse and children to worry about me and the costs involved to take care of me if I were to be frail and unhealthy.
Getting married is a choice. Although I am single and hope to settle down, some people around me are struggling with their marriages, some people just decided to give up their marriages due to various reasons. You can be married in a simple ROM ceremony, where relatives will attend and congratulate you or you can just do it with your partner in Singapore or overseas. You can choose to have it at lavish places, with your invited friends and relatives. The most important thing is after all the fanfare, you need to be responsible for your choice. Communication with your spouse, maintaining the spark is important, more so after having children if you have any or when you have a roof over your heads.
Having a child is a responsibility, but it is not a choice of whether you want or not. Some people choose not to have children because they feel that they cannot be good parents or will have difficulties to bring them up for the next 25 years. Some people may have pre-existing health conditions, as a result, conceiving is tough for them, given the choices of IVF or adoption may be too costly for some.
Having a roof over your head is another crossroad which we have to go through in life. Housing is not cheap in Singapore. The fortunate thing is our Government has provided us with housing grants to purchase our dream home in the first two instances. However, for my case, I have chosen to stay put with my parents as the resale flats at my area are too expensive and I would have problems maintaining the flat in terms of household chores due to my physical disability. I also feel that having a partner lessen your financial burden when you own the flat together. I took quite a while to convince my parents on this. In fact, I was fortunate to have an elder supporting me on this. It was this person that helped my mum see this point.
Therefore, I hope with this, everyone remembers that our choices in life are determined by personal circumstances, environment around you, your health and your finances. Please do not be rude and ask the following questions.
1. When are you getting married?
2. Shall I introduce a guy or gal to you?
3. When are you going to have children?
4. When are you going to have the 2nd or 3rd child?
5. What happened, how come divorce?
6. Why am I not invited for your wedding or baby shower?
Everyone has their way and means to deal with challenges in life. They may make the wrong choice but it is their choice and they have to live by it.
Comments