Affairs Of The Heart

I had a quarrel with my mum over this issue at the coffeeshop as we were having dinner just now. I know that she is deeply concerned about this and had wanted me to make the choice of the gal she felt that would be suitable for me as a girlfriend / life partner.

I told her many times that I personally feel that this gal in question would not be suitable for me as :-

1. Her complicated family background:- She has a family, where two of her elders indulge in the habit of gambling & an aunt that owes a huge amount of credit card debt. Instead of telling them to cut down on their spending & gambling, she herself indulges in them and spends extravagantly like them, despite knowing that her salary is not enough to sustain her spending habits.
2. She has this bad habit of asking people to pay for her meals or expenses first and tell people that she will pay you by instalments at the end of the month. As one of our common friend puts it, as she is not spending her own money or spending on "friendly credit terms", she does not feel the pinch as the money did not come out from her pocket.
3. Her mum would actually call her over her handphone many times during the time when we are out together and actually request / demand that I / we send her home by cab. She always like to use the phrase, 你是男的。or the excuse that my elders are worried as my estate has a lot of robbery cases. For me, I know that as a guy, I should send a gal home, but the cab fare in Singapore are expensive nowadays and she always pay me later, so the cash to pay for the fare will come out from my pocket, In this modern age, it does not mean that being a guy, I need to send you home, as I have female friends who make their own way home as they know I do not stay near them or they do not wish to trouble me as my physical disability will cause me to tire easily. In this case, I will usually get my female friends to call / sms /whatsapp me when they are home. 
4. Having worked with her before, I feel that she is not independent enough, despite being in her late 20s. As I am physically challenged, I would personally prefer a gal who is independent to take care of herself and assist me with some of the tasks which my disability do not allow me to perform. Having her as a girlfriend, would add to a lot of stress for me, as she cannot be depended upon on even the simplest of tasks and is prone to careless mistakes in whatever she does.

My mum was of the view that she would not mind my disability, which I know as she had a family member with physical disability when she was young. But this does not mean that I should throw aside my principles and ideals of having a life partner who accepts me for what I am and is able to be of help to one another when needed.

I spoke to her at length just now when she was back from her concert. I really hope she understand what I mean. Now I know what my younger brother means when he say our mum can be a little too probing and look at things naively. I personally feel that she has no confidence that I would be able to find Ms Right. I still believe that I would as many of my friends have encouraged me to take things easy so as not to frighten any prospects away. 

This is the reason why I had not told her that I have failed in my recent chase as well, even though I did mention to her a little to her about this other gal before, but since it is passed, I guess I would just keep it in the deep confines of my heart.